I have been in a funk the last few days. Sad probably a little but more realizing that my oldest baby is 6 years away from leaving the nest, he is turning 12 in a week, (6 years will go fast too) and we have been so busy that we not done hardly anything with him for good memories and have quality time with him. Each individual child of mine have been lost in the collective 5, if that makes sense to anyone. I realized we have only been camping once his whole life, hardly had any family vacations (even weekend ones), and I find myself so overwhelm that I have to admit that I so look forward to the kids going to bed every night. I know some of you will say "don't beat yourself up over it". It not really beating myself up it realizing I can do better and will. Does that make sense? I want my kids to remember there home as a sanctuary. I want them to have good memories of life as a kid not that they where a burden to me. I am done with the sappy stuff of my life. Now on to what I have learned from my few days of being in a funk.
This weekend is MV stake conference. I have to admit that most years I don't ever go to the stake conference on Sunday as it is so stressful for us with 5 active children. If you have ever sat behind us in church you will know what I am talking about. HE I do however go to the adult session on Saturday night and James usually goes to the priesthood session. I told James this morning that our kids are old enough to sit in conference and from now on we will be going. We have to set a example for the kids.
Last night we went to the adult session of stake conference and as I sat in the pews of the stake center, I had a HUGE wake up call. The topic was individual growth with the focus on preparing our children for the future (especially during teenage years). We had a few talks on the importance of loving our youth, making memories with your children, and helping them learn to have to spirit and many other things. Did this answer all my sad questions or what?
Elder John B. Dickson from the quorum of the seventy came and spoke about creating traditions that our children will follow. That through example our children will learn what is important. He stressed sticking to the basics(click on the hyperlink): reading scriptures, FHE, Family Prayer, and teaching our children the importance of personal prayer and scripture study. He stress that the adversary is mindful of our children's weaknesses and that these principles will help them to withstand the darts of the adversary. He also talked to us about being a example to our children, that they should see us attending the temple, reading scriptures, fulfilling our church callings,etc if we expect them to. He also stressed the importance of spending time with our kids to know them.
So having heard that I am determined to be the example my kids need. Here are my goals for the year:
- No more skipping Stake Conference.
- No more skipping scripture study because I am worn down and want the kids to "just go to bed". I have missed 2 weeks straight of scripture study because of this.
- No more FHE Fights and just giving up. OK we will probably still have the fights but I will not give up. HE
- Trying to go to the temple at least once a quarter.
- Spend quality time with each of the kids so they feel important and so we bond with them
- Have a family camp out each year. My kids need the memories
- Encourage my children to go to youth activities even if they are bogged down with sports commitments. Hey they can be late a little or leave a little early from sports if they have to as long as they go. Have to think about this now as EJ will be going to Young Mens in a week. :)
- Have date night with James at least 2 times a month or more. Our kids needs to see mommy and daddy loving each other.
- Just love each other, love my children even when they do something wrong.
Then I came home and read "Pay it forward" post on Stacy's blog and I was touched also. Thank you stacy. There is still alot of good out there in the world.
Oh and Tami Thanks for the call this week. I do miss being close enough to everyone to just walk over to your house but glad to be out of the neighborhood just the same. It's bitter sweet.
I will end with 2 poems I thought where great.
If I Could Do It All Again...
If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes. I would care to know less and know to care more. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging. I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often. I would be firm less often, and affirm much more. I'd model less about the love of power, And more about the power of Love.
~ By Diane Loomans
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
When You Thought I Wasn't Looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one. When You Thought I Wasn't Looking, I saw you feed a stray cat,and I thought it was good to be kind to animals. When You Thought I Wasn't Looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things. When You Thought I Wasn't Looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved. When You Thought I Wasn't Looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry. When You Thought I Wasn't Looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
~Author Unknown
1 comment:
Thank you. This was really thought provoking. I'm always up for renewing my own commitments to my family. You're a good mom!
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