What comes around goes around

I have been thinking a lot lately about everything.. from school, life, friends, family.  You name it and I've been thinking about it.  Life is so funny sometimes.  It takes you for a spin and when you think things are winding down and the path is clear then BOOM it all gets jumbled up and your world starts spinning again.  Thats how I feel, just spinning around and around. You wonder what I am talking about  don't you?  Well I am talking about many things...

School-- i have come to realize that as much as I have wanted to be a nurse all these years I am finding myself saying is this what I want?  Do I want to push meds, do paperwork, and push meds some more. Do I want to be away from my family to work?  i thought I wanted to at least a few days a week.  Perspective has changed for me.  The other nursing students dont understand why I would pay the money and suffer so long in school to not want to work and be home with my family.  They just dont understand...  I want to save my family that what it comes down too.  

Family-  I love my family so much.  I see such great things in them.  I love James so much, I really cant see my life without him.  Regardless of our ups and down, my life just not life without him in it.  My heart is full this day.   What goes around comes around and it has come full circle.... 

Life-- I see life so different then most.  I see life really black and white, with grays that really shouldn't be there and that skew us from living in the white.  I just see and feel things that most don't.  I don't know why I have been given this gift but I have.  It is a blessing and a curse really.  Because I feel and see things so deep, i wear my feelings right on my sleeve and it hurts when I see sometimes.  I see how much I have grown this past year but also how much more I have to grow to have a real "polished" me.  Not fun looking in the mirror and seeing all the things that I need to work on.  Then again I am glad I have the insight to be able to realized this in the first place.

EJ-  I was so extremely blessed on Sunday to hear for the first time my oldest son bare his testimony and then encouraging my TJ and Rae to go up to.  I listened to his sweet spirit and saw the light I have always hoped I'd see in him.  It was so brilliant.  So very brilliant.  I love him with all my heart.

I am blessed!!! I have been given so much.   I have been given the knowledge of who I am and where I came from.  It helps me and it carries me through.

Find it... find that knowledge....